Subject: International Emergency Levels

In response to the increased concerns over international terrorism many
countries have now raised their levels of warnings on national security
issues.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide'.
The only two higher alert levels in France are 'Surrender' and
'Collaborate'.

The Italians have increased their alert level from "Shout Loudly and
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing".
Two more levels remain, "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs".
They have two higher levels, "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from
"Isolationism" to "Find Somewhere Else in the Middle East Ripe for
Regime Change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Take on the
World" and "Ask the British for Help".

Finally, in the UK we've gone from "Pretend Nothing's Happening" to
"Make Another Cup of Tea".
Their higher levels are "Remain Resolutely Cheerful" and "Let the other
members of the commonwealth handle it while taking the credits for it"